The Martha in Me, The Mary I Want to Be.
I used to think rest had to be earned — that peace was something reserved for after everything was done. But motherhood has invited me to see it differently. In this reflection, I explore the tension between doing and being, performing and pausing, and how I'm learning to quiet the Martha in me… to become more like Mary, who simply sat with Jesus.
A gentle reflection for the one who longs to slow down
There’s a Martha in me that always wants to do.
Not out of joy — but out of duty.
Out of fear that if I stop moving, things will fall apart. A rhythm of constant movement.
My mother would wake before sunrise to clean,
and keep cleaning all day long — sometimes because the house needed it,
but mostly because stillness felt unfamiliar.
That rhythm found its way into me, too.
I move through the day with an invisible list,
always measuring what needs doing,
always half-present, half-planning.
Even when I hold my daughter —
my heart’s greatest treasure —
I find myself thinking:
*What’s for dinner?*
*Did I switch the laundry?*
*Did I respond to that message?*
Peace often feels just out of reach,
lost beneath the weight of responsibility and perfection.
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
— Psalm 46:10
Martha Wasn’t Wrong — She Was Just Distracted
I’ve read the story in Luke 10 countless times —
Martha, busy with preparations; Mary, sitting at Jesus’ feet.
Martha wasn’t sinning.
She was serving.
But her heart was divided.
She wanted to honor Jesus with her hands,
while Mary honored Him with her attention.
And I see myself in Martha —
the inner striving,
the people-pleasing,
the ache to be seen as capable and kind and put-together.
Friends and family would visit after I gave birth
and gently warn me:
*“Don’t try to clean or cook — just rest.”*
And the truth is — I didn’t try.
I physically couldn’t.
But I *wanted* to.
My default was to perform hospitality,
even while healing.
Even while exhausted.
Choosing the Better Part
This morning, my husband was feeding the baby —
and he was completely at ease.
Not rushing. Not multitasking. Just present.
I used to be irritated by that ease.
It felt like he wasn’t noticing all the things that still needed doing.
But today, he said something that stopped me:
“I’ve learned that when I’m taking care of baby, nothing else matters.”
And suddenly, I understood.
He had chosen the better part.
The part that sees the moment as sacred.
The part that chooses connection over completion.
And I want that, too.
Not a rejection of responsibility,
but a release of the obsession with perfection.
Because the dishes can wait.
The inbox can wait.
But the heart of my child — and the presence of my Savior — cannot.
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one.”
— Luke 10:41–42
Letting the Stillness Lead
Baby girl has helped me slow down.
She’s helped me see that the sacred is not always in what I can achieve,
but in what I can surrender.
She reminds me that time is fleeting —
and what feels urgent may not always be important.
So I breathe.
I pause.
I remind myself:
It’s okay to choose the floor over the checklist.
It’s okay to be Mary.
🕊️ A Gentle Invitation
Maybe you’ve been busy, too —
tending, planning, perfecting.
Maybe you’ve felt the pull between serving and sitting,
between doing and being.
If that’s you, hear this:
You don’t have to prove your worth through busyness.
You don’t have to earn rest.
Jesus welcomes you — as you are — to sit and just be.
📖 Scripture Meditation
- Psalm 46:10 — “Be still, and know that I am God.”
- Luke 10:41–42 — “Martha, Martha… only one thing is needed.”
- Isaiah 30:15 — “In quietness and trust is your strength.”
- Ecclesiastes 3:1 — “There is a time for everything…”